Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The Reasons why Beer is Better Than Women


I just copy paste from some links

10 Reasons why Beer is Better Than Women

1. A beer is always wet

2. When you pop open a beer, you can always be sure that you were the first one.

3. If you have a beer, you feel like having another one right away.

4. A beer doesn't care if you go out and have another beer

5. You can have several beers at the same time

6. You can always go into a bar and pick up a beer

7. The colder a beer is, the better it is

8. Once you take the top off a beer, it doesn't change its mind.

9. A good beer always has good head

10. If you pick up a beer, but are too drunk to do anything with it, its no big deal (read less)



25 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Women:

1-You can enjoy a beer all month long

2-Beer stains wash out

3-You don't have to wine and dine beer

4-Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play baseball

5-When your beer goes flat, you toss it out

6-Hangovers go away

7-A beer label comes off without a fight

8-Beer is never late

9-Beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer

10-When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer

11-Beer never gets a headache

12-After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents

13-A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer

14-If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head

15-A beer always goes down easy

16-You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty

17-You can share a beer with your friends

18-You always know you're the first one to pop a beer

19-Beer is always wet

20-Beer doesn't demand equality

21-You can have a beer in public

22-A beer doesn't care when you come

23-A frigid beer is a good beer

24-You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good

25-If you change beers you don't have to pay alimony


45 Reasons Why Beer is Better Than Women


1. You can enjoy a beer all month long.

2. You don't have to wine and dine a beer.

3. Beer stains wash out.

4. Beer doesn't have to get a new dress for a party.

5. Beer never has a headache.

6. When a beer goes flat, you just toss it out.

7. Beer is never late.

8. Beer doesn't have a birthday for you to forget.

9. Beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.

10. Beer doesn't argue with you about when to drink it.

ll. You always know that you are the first one to pop a beer.

l2. Beer doesn't get upset when you come home and decide to have another beer.

13. Beer never threatens to go to a lawyer.

14. Beer labels come off without a fight.

15. A beer always goes down easy.

16. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.

17. No court has ever granted a beer alimony payments.

18. You can share a beer with your friends.

19. After you have had a beer, the bottle is still worth something.

20. Hangovers go away.

21. Beers never require expensive permanent and hair tints.

22. Beer is always wet.

23. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.

24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.

25. If you pour your beer right, you'll always get a good head.

26. Beer can be easily eliminated.

27. Beer is only stopping by, it doesn't stay around and nag.

28. Beer doesn't demand equality.

29. A frigid beer is a good beer.

30. You don't have to take expensive flowers home to your beer.

31. Beer never complains about when you come for it.

32. You don't have to take your beer to a psychiatrist to get it to bubble.

33. You can have a beer in public.

34. You can see through a beer and you know what you are getting.

35. When your beer gets upset, it settles down.

36. Beer is subject to quality control and doesn't argue about it.

37. Beer doesn't talk back to you and ask a lot of silly questions.

38. Beer doesn't ask you to take a lie detector test about when you had the

last one.

39. Beer doesn't have a Mother that goes with it.

40. If you drop a beer, there is no doctor bill.

41. Beer doesn't have anniversaries for you to forget.

42. Beer doesn't demand that you take it dancing before you can have it.

43. Beer doesn't have relatives that stop by and stay for weeks.

44. When you buy a beer, you own it.

45. Beer never cries or gets jealous.



107 Reasons Why Beer is Better than Women

1. You can enjoy a beer all month.

2. Alcohol stains wash out.

3. You don't have to wine and dine a beer.

4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car.

5. When beer goes flat you toss it out.

6. Alcohol is never late.

7. HANGOVERS go away.

8. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.

9. Beer labels come off without a fight.

10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.

11. Alcohol never has a headache.

12. After you have a beer, the bottle is still worth a dime.

13. A beer won't get upset if you come home with beer on your breath.

14. If you pour a beer right, you will always get good head.

15. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.

16. A beer ALWAYS goes down easy.

17. You can share a beer with your friends.

18. You always know that you are the first one to pop a beer.

19. A beer is always wet.

20. beer doesn't demand equality.

21. A beer doesn't care when you come.

22. You can have a beer in public.

23. A frigid beer is a good beer.

24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.

25. Beer always comes in multiples of six.

26. Beer doesn't mind being in the "wet spot" that IT left.

27. You can't catch anything but a "buzz" from a beer.

28. After you have a beer, you're committed to nothing other than

dumping the empty bottle.

29. A beer never costs you more than five dollars and never leaves

you thirsty.

30. When your beer is gone, you just pop another.

31. You rarely (if ever) find beer labels on the shower curtain rod.

32. Beer looks the same in the morning.

33. Beer doesn't look you up in a month.

34. Beer doesn't worry about someone walking in.

35. Beer doesn't worry about waking the kids.

36. Beer doesn't get cramps.

37. Beer doesn't have a mother.

38. Beer doesn't have morals.

39. Beer doesn't go crazy once a month.

40. Beer always listens and never argues.

41. Beer labels don't go out of style every year.

42. Beer doesn't whine, it bubbles.

43. Beer doesn't have cold hands/feet.

44. Beer doesn't demand legality.

45. Beer is never overweight.

46. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.

47. Beer won't run off with your credit cards.

48. Beer doesn't have a lawyer.

49. Beer doesn't need much closet space.

50. Beer can't give your herpes or other nasty things.

51. Beer doesn't complain about the way you drive.

52. Beer doesn't mind if you fart or belch.

53. Beer never changes its mind.

54. Beer doesn't tease you or play hard to get.

55. Beer never asks you to change the station.

56. Beer doesn't make you go shopping.

57. Beer doesn't tell you to mow the grass.

58. Beer doesn't mind seeing Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks.

59. Beer is always easy to pick up.

60. Big, fat beers are nice to have.

61. Beer doesn't pout or play games.

62. Beer NEVER says no.

63. Beer is easy to get into.

64. Beer never complains when you take it somewhere.

65. Beer doesn't need to go to the 'powder room' with other beers.

66. Beer doesn't wear a bra.

67. Beer doesn't mind getting dirty.

68. Beer doesn't complain about insensitivity.

69. Beer doesn't use up your toilet paper.

70. Beer doesn't live with its mother.

71. Beer doesn't blow you off.

72. Beer doesn't care if you have no culture or manners.

73. Beer doesn't bitch, yell, or cry.

74. Beer doesn't mind football season.

75. A beer won't make you go to church.

76. A beer is more likely to know how to spell "carburetor" than a woman.

77. A beer doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit.

78. A beer doesn't think DOS is pronounced "dose".

79. A beer doesn't give a fuck if you keep a bunch of other beers around.

80. A beer will not insist that those odious Michelin commercials

with babies are "cute".

81. If a beer leaks all over the room, it smells kinda good for a while.

82. A beer will not call you a sexist pig if you say "doberman"

instead of "doberperson".

83. A beer won't get a job as a DJ and play 5 straight hours of

lesbian folk music on your favorite radio station.

84. A beer won't claim that the Three Stooges are shitheads.

85. A beer won't raise a fuss about a little thing like leaving the

toilet seat up.

86. If you mention a "three-hundred-fifty cubic-inch V8" around a beer,

it won't think you're talking about an enormous can of vegetable

juice.

87. A beer won't whine that seatbelts hurt.

88. A beer won't smoke in your car.

89. A beer won't argue that there's no difference between shooting

down an unidentified aircraft in a war zone and blowing a Korean

airliner out of the sky.

90. A beer will never buy a car with automatic transmission.

91. A beer will actually *support* belching and farting and share

your enthusiasm for getting them included as demonstration

sports in the 1996 Olympic Games in Atlanta.

92. A beer is always ready to leave on time.

93. A beer never fishes for compliments.

94. Some beers (e.g. St. Pauli Girl) have fabulous tits.

95. Beer tastes *good*.

96. If you take a beer outta the fridge just to look at it but then

decide to drink it, the beer won't accuse you of "date rape".

97. A beer won't raise any objections to an evening of watching

"John Holmes' Greatest Hits" on your VCR.

98. An ice-cold beer will nonetheless let you have your way with it.

99. A beer won't make you pick up some tampons when you go to the

grocery store.

100. A beer won't accuse you of lying when you say you read Penthouse

"just for the articles". (You *are* lying, but the beer won't

accuse you of it).

101. A beer won't worry that you'll go to jail if you videotape a

Giants game without the expressed, written consent of the

National Football League.

102. A beer won't fill up your car with cheesy 85-octane gas with the

excuse: "But I saved a quarter!"

103. A beer will *never* make you go to a Swedish movie.

104. A beer will *never* make you turn off "Fists of Fury Theater" on

channel 5 on Saturday afternoons.

105. A beer won't accuse you of being a sexist pig if you say "Gene

Hackman" instead of "Gene Hackperson".

106. A beer won't make you eat some experimental vegetarian meal that

tastes like STP Oil Treatment.

107. When you're through with a beer, the thought of another beer

doesn't make you ill.